I Miss You

Contemplations

I miss you with all of my heart.

I want to see you. I want to hold you. I want to be in your presence.
I want to brush your hair. I want to look into your hazel eyes.
I want to tell you that I love you.

This lack of communication is killing me.
You grew to become a large part of my life, and for that to just suddenly vanish. The void is noticeable. It’s empty. It’s lonely. It eats you up from the inside out.


 

This is so unfair.
My feelings are bursting forth, but I’m trying my best to hold them back because I know you wouldn’t respond. I’ve been trying to for days, but all you give me is the cold shoulder and a silent treatment.

Now, here you are, talking to me again, and in an instant, I crumble. How could I not talk to you? You, who I’ve been longing for for days. You, who has always been on my mind. You, who I’ve been dreaming of for countless nights. You, who I’ve given my whole heart to. You, the only one I look at in a room filled with lost souls like us.

I wish you knew how much I love you. How much it hurts. But no matter how much I wanted to hate you, I couldn’t. Because I loved you more. So much more. I couldn’t antagonize you. Why? Because I know the reason why you’re doing it. And I can’t say that it’s wrong, nor can I blame you. Regrettably, It’s what must be done.

But honestly, I’m really hoping that it hurts you as much as it hurts me. Hoping that you miss me too. That you long for me as well.

That I’m not hurting and waiting in vain.

What’s sad is that I’m really starting to doubt that you do. I don’t want to, but, damn it, I just want to know if you love me too.

Because I’m tired of getting my hopes up for nothing. I’m tired of all the heartaches and the dramas. I just need to know, is there still something between us or should I just move on?

And I don’t want you to answer something because it’s what’s needed to be said. Forget the future for now, forget the past. Just focus on the now.

Please, just tell me, do you love me?

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